


Spin The Bottle

by softbookboi



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Agatha being a bitch, Baz in love, Bisexual, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, BoyxBoy, Cute, Dev and Niall teasing the crap outta Baz, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, Gay, Kissing, Love, M/M, Magic, Oblivious Simon, Oneshot, Party Games, Pining, Pre-Carry On, Revenge, Seven Minutes In Heaven, Simon and Baz getting together, Simon’s shenanigans get him a boyfriend, Soft Boys, Some Swearing, Some angst, Spin the Bottle, Teenagers, Watford, Young Love, bxb - Freeform, lots of pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-09 21:36:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19894723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softbookboi/pseuds/softbookboi
Summary: The Eighth Years are playing Spin The Bottle at a party. When Simon sees that his ex-girlfriend Agatha cheated to kiss Baz, he decides to get revenge.During the next game, Seven Minutes In Heaven, Simon cheats and gets himself and Baz in the closet together.Oh my, what could they possibly do in the closet?





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi

**Simon**

This is stupid. I'm in a huge house full of drunkards stumbling around, falling on top of each other, making out, and dancing like animals solely because I couldn't resist Penny's puppy eyes. Oh, this is so stupid.

I push through the bodies intoxicated with alcohol and wander around, trying to look for Penny, anyone. At this point, I'm even looking for Agatha-no. No, I'm not. Anyone, but not Agatha. As I whip my head around several times, trying to look past the towering dancers, I sigh and make my way towards the stairs. I'll just go upstairs, maybe there's not much of a crowd there and I can relax and find Penny and get the hell out of here.

Agatha broke up with me a week ago, and I've been a bit miserable since then. I was so confused and agitated and angry as to why she would want to break up. We're the perfect couple, her family loves me and we've been together for years now, and then she decides to call it off in the 8th year. I knew part of the reason she decided to call it off was that she liked Baz, and that made me more angry, more upset. So much so that I started eating less and Penny became genuinely concerned about me. So while I talked crap about stupid Baz, she had made a plan to take me to this party. Of course, at first I said no, but then she gave me her puppy eyes and emotionally blackmailed me, so I had to accept. I already regretted it the moment I entered, and she left me and told me to 'get another girlfriend'. It's been an hour now and I haven't seen her anywhere. I want to go home and if I don't find her upstairs, I'll go back by myself.

I finally make my way up the stairs and rest for a minute, leaning on the railing. I was right, there is barely a crowd here, the hall is completely empty except for a few people here and there. I start walking again and check a few of the bedrooms up here. Empty. No one's in them. As I make my way to the last door and reach for the doorknob, someone bursts out and bumps into me, our foreheads smashing together.

"Ahh," I let out. I look up to see the perpetrator is the devil herself, Penny.

"Penny," I start, "why did you bring me here? I wanna go back, I don't like it and it's certainly not helping me feel any better-"

"Merlin's beard, Simon. I'd been looking for you everywhere and was just about to come to get you right now. Where were you?"

"Where was _I_? Where were _you_? You left me downstairs all alone with those bloody drunks, I've been miserable! Well, at least we're leaving now-"

"We're not leaving."

"-so it's fin-what? Yes, we are. I've had enough, Penny."

"Come on, just give it another try, we're just about to play Spin The Bottle and it'll be really fun and the people inside aren't even that drunk as that downstairs so you can try a real convo with them."

"Oh, Penny, please, Spin The Bottle? What are you, twelve?"

"Oh just come, it'll be great. I promise you won't regret it." She said as she grabbed my arm and dragged me in. Inside, everyone was scattered and they were all 8th years. Most of them I was quite friendly with, and others who I'd passed in halls before when I was going to my classes. As my eyes went over everyone in the room, they landed on Baz, talking to his minions, Niall and Dev. _Baz._

Baz was here? And he was playing Spin The Bottle? I would've expected him to snide some stupid remark about us 8th years being too mature to play these types of games and then say he wasn't interested, but I guess not? And I hadn't even known he was coming to this party.

As if reading my mind, Penny says, "Every 8th year was invited to this party, we had decided to play these games beforehand, as kind of reminiscing old memories. Surprisingly, Baz agreed to this game without a remark. Guess he wanted to reminisce too, or just wanted to kiss someone. After this, it's Seven Minutes In Heaven. And, uhh...Agatha's here too."

She said the last bit in a really small voice as if apologizing. My eyes soared around the room once again, and I spotted her sitting in the half-made circle, excited. I quickly looked away, not wanting to meet her eyes after what she sent me through. Instead, I glanced at Baz.

He was now making his way towards the circle, sitting down a few feet away from Agatha. Upon watching him arrive, she blushed, and he smiled. Then, he looked my way and smirked. I felt a wave of anger rush over me from this. That prick always liked my girlfriend, and now that we've broken up, of course, he's going to make a move on her. That's probably why he even said yes to this game. She's probably the someone he wants to kiss. That _bastard._

**Baz**

I had heard the door open a bit after Bunce had gone looking for Snow, and spared a tiny glance. It was Snow, he was here.

I felt my stomach drop to the floor and my spirit lift out of my body with hope all at once.

Snow is here, so there's a chance that I could get to kiss him, but I don't think I'll be able to handle that. And there's a huge chance that someone else would get picked. But still.

I only agreed to this game because I thought it was a bit childish, and it's been a while since I felt like a child again so I agreed. But now Snow is here, and I'm sweating with nervousness. I know he won't get picked, I just know, but I can't help but fidget.

I look at Snow as he takes in all the people here but look away before he gets to me and then look back after. I watch as he looks at Wellbelove and for a brief second, pain flashes in his expression, and is gone after because he looks away. I pity him, Wellbelove was his girlfriend for years and now she dumped him. It almost makes me want to stop toying with him by flirting with her. Actually, I do want to stop. I don't want him thinking that I want his ex-girlfriend. I want him, but he can't ever know that, no matter how much I want it.

I make my way towards the circle with Niall and Dev behind me and know he's watching. As I sit down, Wellbelove blushes and I smile at her, pitying her too as I'm not interested. I look over to Snow and smirk and watch as anger overcomes him. He's really too easy to mess with, I bet he thinks I fancy Wellbelove. The poor bloke.

I talk with others while the circle fills and everyone's sitting now with the bottle in the center, and finally turn towards the people to see who's here. I see quite a lot of 8th years but not all, guess some people decided to stay in the dorms tonight. Snow's sitting across from me, looking miserable as ever. I keep stealing small glances at him but making sure he can't see me. As I'm in the fourth one, I feel Dev nudge me from the side. I look over at him with a confused expression and he's smirking at me, obviously having caught me staring at Snow. I look away quickly, not wanting him to see the pink dusting my cheeks. (I had just drained a deer before arriving at this party).

"Alright everyone, let's start the game." One of the girls says.

We play a few rounds, sometimes people of the same gender kiss, and everyone oohs and ahhs a lot, enjoying the show. Snow doesn't play, nor does Bunce, Wellbelove and I. When finally it's Wellbelove's turn to spin the bottle, Snow looks troubled, anxious to see who it would point to. I can already tell he's going to hate whoever this lands on, whether it be a girl or boy. And God forbid it land on him, that would be really fucking awkward.

My wish comes true, it doesn't land on him. Instead, it lands on...me. _Me._

I hear the hooting of the boys and girls, but I'm so shocked that they just seem like white noise to me. This isn't right, I was just flirting with Agatha for fun. Now if we kiss, she'll definitely take that as a sign for us to get together. I don't like her, I never did. I knew she liked me and that she was gonna propose the idea of us soon, and had been preparing to turn her down. But this bottle has made things so much harder now.

I feel another nudge, and look up from the bottle to see Snow glaring at me. I can practically see the air bursting out of his ears, and his face is red with anger. Snow also knew Wellbelove liked me, he saw us holding hands the other day in the woods. I can see he's very near to going off, his magic is prickling at my skin, but he's also holding back somehow so that he doesn't make a racket.

If he was angry with me then, he's livid now.

I look at Wellbelove and she's popping with victory, pride clear on her face. I think she spelled the bottle to turn to me, it's obvious she had something to do with it by the look she has on. I don't think she's even fazed that her ex-boyfriend is in the room, I think she's even more ecstatic that he'll watch her kiss someone else.

I've taken too long to think, and now everyone's chanting _kiss kiss kiss_ like a bunch of 11-year-olds. This was a bad idea, such a bad idea. The talk with Wellbelove is going to be even harder and Snow hates me even more now. The boy I love despises me more now. But I know I can't back down, I have to do this. I mean it's just a kiss, I'll just give her a peck and pull away fast. I move forward toward her and she does too. We're on all fours, knees and hands, and she's so eager that she pulls me in from the back of my neck. I move to pull away after a second but she doesn't let go. Instead, she pulls me closer and slips her tongue in my throat. The cheering grows louder. I don't like kissing her and I don't want to.

I forcefully move away this time, and as I am, I accidentally meet eyes with Snow. His face hardens and he looks like a psycho overcome by rage, his blue eyes glinting with anger. For a moment, he scares me, and I move faster. I pull away and she looks shocked, but then moves back to her side.

That was my first kiss. I've never kissed anyone before and she stole it, the witch. I didn't like the feeling at all.

We play a few more rounds, but I'm too far off in my mind to pay attention. I won't even bother flirting with Wellbelove now. I'll just be blunt, serves her right for doing a despicable thing. 

I'm regretting my life choices as the game finally finishes, and then we're about to start Seven Minutes In Heaven. I won't play this time, and if Wellbelove pulls something again, I'll just refuse to go in the goddamn closet with her. I won't be forced to play this bloody game with her.

**Simon**

I'm _livid._

When the bottle landed on Baz, I was terrifyingly mad. When I looked at his face, he didn't sneer or smirk, instead, he looked a bit...upset...that it landed on him. But then I looked at Agatha, and she was overflowing with smugness. I knew. She had spelled this bottle to make it land on Baz and get me back for whatever reason. She knew I hated Baz and she didn't even care that I was in the same room, instead she spelled it to make sure that it lands on him out of all people. I'm not mad at Baz anymore, I'm mad at Agatha. I don't want her back now and I'm going to get revenge. I have the perfect way to do that too.

As we're getting ready for Seven Minutes In Heaven, the girls are writing everyone's names on slips of paper and putting them inside a hat. This game will be like that last one, meaning people of the same gender can go in the closet together. I know Agatha is gonna cheat again, so why don't I just do it?

I sneakily pick up a piece of paper when no one's looking and write Baz's name on it, and then keep it in my hand, and put my hand in my pocket. Let's see how she feels when I go in there with Baz, the guy she left me for and even cheated to get with.

As I step back, I look over at Baz again. He seems quite different now, almost bored like he wants to go home as soon as he can. I think about his expression when the bottle landed on him. He truly didn't look like he wanted to kiss her, and the rest of the game, he didn't pay attention to anything at all. Is it possible that he doesn't fancy Agatha and didn't want to kiss her?

Nah, he's probably plotting something, trying to catch me off guard. The bastard.

The game starts and Baz looks just as distant. Looks like he doesn't want to play, and keeps glancing over at Agatha and shows the tiniest hint of a glare. Does he know she pulled something? I wouldn't be surprised if he did, he's really fucking smart.

After about three rounds of the game, I can see Agatha's about to go next so I cut her off. Before she can let out a single word, I go, "I'm next" and she looks shocked, just as she did when Baz pulled away from her when they were kissing. She puts the _I don't care at all, you know_ mask on once again but I know she's bit wary. I look at Baz and he's still not in this world. As I step forward and dip my hand (the one with the chit of paper, I made sure no one could see I was holding something) and act as if I'm pulling out a piece of paper, I have a cool look on my face. I know the paper in my hand has Baz's name on it and when I open it and say Baz, I look over to Agatha to see her reaction.

She looks stupefied, just standing still as the crowd erupts in a huge roar of hooting and cheering. She looks at me and I put on an expression of innocence. She's still horrified when people start pushing Baz my way. He finally snaps out of his dream and looks around with a puzzled look on his face.

"What? What's happening?" he says, and I say, "I got your name in Seven Minutes In Heaven." I watch as his face contorts from one of confusion to one of bewilderment. Now, he's also stupefied, just like Agatha. He even starts stammering. Baz never stammers. He's always the one yelling at me to 'spit it out'.

The crowd takes notice of this and starts pushing us towards the walk-in closet, whilst _ooh_ and _ahh_ -ing their arses off. I look back at Agatha and the shocked expression has been replaced with a loathing one. She knows I cheated. But who said I cared? I throw her a smug look before getting shoved in the closet. They turn the lights off before closing the door and heading back.

We both stand there awkwardly in the dark for about 20 seconds, silence blanketing over us. Then Baz clears his voice and starts, "Listen, Snow," his tone indicates that he's gotten over his moment of shock and is now back to his senses, "Let's just wait the minutes out, they can't see us so they won't know."

I smirk in the dark. Even though Baz has seemed to found his cool again, he still seems a bit shaky and nervous.

"Well, I don't know about that that," I say as I move closer. I can just make out Baz's figure in the dark and as I take steps forward, he takes steps backward. "I mean, that would be cheating, and that's not right. Shouldn't we follow the game's rules?" I say smugly. I actually have no idea what I'm doing. My plan only intended for us to go into the closet together, but not do anything further. I just wanted Agatha to think we were doing something, to get back at her. But now, my feet and mouth are out of my control. They seem to be saying and doing the things they want, instead of listening to me.

Baz keeps moving further away until his back hits the wall. I smile triumphantly and lean over to his face until we're so close that I can feel his breath on me.

"Snow, what are you d-doing?" I chuckle darkly as I feel him shiver as I move closer to him, and by the look of his face in the dark, he doesn't seem too happy about that either.

**Baz**

I mentally slap myself for shivering and stuttering in front of Snow. When I was shoved in here, I had some time to comprehend this and figured that despite my shock, we wouldn't be doing anything. I mean, come on, Snow's a git, I'm a wanker and we both hate each other. Well, he thinks that I hate him.

I found my voice and told him to just sit it out but then he had this smirk on his face and started moving closer while saying things like we would be cheating if we did that. He has me cornered now, and once again I've lost the ability to think straight or speak. I don't dare open my mouth for fear of accidentally blurting out that I want to do something. 

I still can't figure out what he means. Is he saying we should be doing this for the game? Is he toying with me? Does he want to do this? It's definitely not the last one, I know for sure. Then what's he doing?

I'm so wound up in my own thoughts and concerns that I don't notice him sneaking to my ear.

He whispers, "What needs to be done.” 

Then he _kisses_ me.

I'm absolutely flabbergasted. Snow is kissing me. _Snow_ is kissing _me._ Simon Snow, the boy I'm in love with, is _kissing_ me! My eyes go back to their normal size as I push at his mouth, kissing him back with as much want as I can muster. He groans, and moves his hands to my hair, lightly tugging on a few strands near my scalp. I practically purr into his mouth at the touch and feel a light smile playing on his lips at my satisfying reaction.

 _Two can play at this game_ , I think, and move my hands to his small (A.N: smol) waist and grip it tightly, and feel content when a sigh escapes the confining walls of his mouth. We're full-on snogging now, and I'm still not in my right mind. He's doing this because of the game, isn't he? He definitely is. I mentally shrug as I decide that since this is a one-time thing, I better soak up all the Simon Snow I can. I push harder, turning him over so that he's trapped in the wall, and when he gasps because of the surprise, I slip my tongue in his mouth. He lets out a small _mmh_ and I smile, moving my hands up to cup his cheeks and grab a portion of his bronze locks in each hand. He starts rubbing my stomach and I lean into the touch because it feels so good until-

 _Bam!_ The door flies open and suddenly I'm being ripped apart from Snow and the lights are on. I open my eyes, adjusting to the light and realize what we'd just done, eyes widening in shock and cheeks reddening in the embarrassment of being caught. I look up at Snow and see that he's the same, does eyes sparkling wide and cheeks turning an adorable shade of crimson, his freckles being flaunted and lips swollen. The hair is tousled because of when I pulled at it slightly and ran my fingers through it. In this lighting, Snow looks absolutely fucking gorgeous.

I look to the side and see a girl I passed in the hallway sometimes, and Niall and Bunce by her side, and behind them, standing at the door, everyone who was playing this stupid game gaping at us with their mouths half open. I look back and it's Dev who ripped me apart from Snow, his and Niall's face contorting into one of surprise and smugness, smirks decorating their features and a hint of mischief in their eyes. Bunce and everyone else just looks stunned by what they just witnessed the two boys who pick fights all the time in school doing.

Just as suddenly, the blanket of stunned silence is lifted and before I know it, everyone's dragging me out, howling and whistling and saying things like, "You took more than seven minutes so we got curious", "Never knew you had a thing for him, Baz", or "Someone was a bit eager there". I look over at Snow and he's also being bombarded by the people, being teased relentlessly.

We get carried out and people start the game again, but reiteratively, I can't concentrate and this time it seems like Snow can't either. I want to snog him again. I want to do all that again. And more. I want to be with him. But I can't. My chest fills with pain as I remind myself that what we did was just for the game, at least he did it for the game, even if I didn't.

Oh my God, I was probably coming off so strong on him and he probably was just messing with me. Oh no, what if he just wanted to peck me? I completely went overboard if that was the case. Oh Crowley, it's gonna be so awkward with him if that's the case. I can't face him now. I'm despicable in Snow's eyes and he hates me, he obviously just wanted a tiny kiss and I went and snogged him senseless. Aleister Crowley, he probably knows I'm in love with him now. Well, he might think I like him, but not that I'm in love with him. That's good. Oh, I was here thinking Wellbelove was going to cheat and pick me and I was going to have to humiliate myself and her in front of all these people by saying no and this is actually what happened.

Wellbelove. _Wellbelove._

I look around and my eyes find her. She looks as if she might kill someone. Not someone; Snow. She looks as if she might kill Snow. I was too distracted to notice her in the doorway with the other people, but now that she has my attention, I have to say I'm kind of scared. She looks terrifying like she might join forces with the Humdrum to kill Snow. I can't help but feel a twinge of amusement. She was so desperate to get me but instead, I got Snow. Ha, suck it, Wellbelove.

At the thought of him, I look around some more to find him. My eyes sweep over everyone in the bundle of 8th Years here, yet I can't seem to place him or Bunce. Did they leave already? If they're gone then why the fuck am I staying?

"Looking for your Chosen One, are you?" Dev snickers and Niall joins in from beside me. I feel myself blush, shake it off, look over at them and glare. "No, I'm not, and he's not my Chosen One. That was just a one-time thing, just for this game. And I'd rather not do it again."

"Baz, we know you're in love with him and we know you're looking for him. It's painfully obvious. But anyhow, Bunce dragged him away after you both came out. Probably asked him if he liked it and was fazed by it or not, like you." Niall retorts with a snort.

I feel myself blush harder than before, skin warming. "I was not fazed by it and didn't like it, it was just a bit enjoyable and I got carried away."

"Your burning cheeks say otherwise. Crowley, Baz, you must really like him a lot to be this red. When we tore you both apart, it looked as if you were about to explode. Never seen you like this before, and I have to say, I really like it."

I sneer at them both, but since I'm blushing, it comes out soft and they both coo. Ugh, bloody gits basking in my misery.

I spend the rest of the game pondering over Snow, whether he liked it or not. In the end, I'm sure he was traumatized by my animalistic jump on him and decide that since I've lost face in front of so many people who'll probably send this news to everyone else in school, I may as well start trying to get it back. From tomorrow on, I'll do my best to ignore Snow and this will just go back to normal. Even though I don't want it to.

After the game, I throw a tantrum and say that I want to go back. Dev and Niall just nod and keep making retorts about me and Snow, calling us Snowbaz. I tell them that I hate it and they say that I secretly love it, just like Snow. They're right. But they don't have to know that.

When I'm standing in front of my dorm, about to go in, I wonder if Snow's there and if he's asleep. He has to be, its past midnight and we have classes tomorrow (honestly these people's timings for parties are horrible). I take a deep breath, prepare myself and walk in.

Snow is awake.

He's tucked in bed, feigning sleep but the rhythm of his breathing tells otherwise. Why is he awake? Is he thinking about what happened earlier? If he is, is it bad or good in his mind? I'm too tired to stress over what he's thinking now, so I just get changed, brush my teeth and lay in bed. When I do, he's still awake. I face my back towards him and can feel his gaze burning holes through my skin, not allowing me to fall asleep peacefully.

I softly bring my hand up to my mouth, and finally, it hits. It hits hard.

I snogged Simon Snow.

**Simon**

Baz just came back from the party. It's kind of surprisingly really, because I figured he'd be too embarrassed to stay there after looking like he did when we got caught. Even though he's a vampire, his cheeks turned shade of red dark enough to spot from a mile away. I don't really know whether I should be saying this or not since I'm pretty sure I was even worse. And ugh everyone saw us. Now this is gonna be the talk of the whole campus and it'll be so awkward with Baz. They'll think that we fancy each other.

I don't fancy Baz.

Or...do I?

I kinda did just spend the evening snogging him, and enjoyed every bit of it. I loved how soft his hair was when I ran my fingers through it; how firm yet tender his lips were; how he gripped my waist and (probably unconsciously) rubbed circles onto it; how he loved it when I started rubbing his tummy and leaned into the touch; how he casually took dominance; how every reaction he got out of me made him grin against my lips; how soft his skin was; how he was incredibly good and knew exactly how to make me drunk off his lips even though I'm sure it was only his second time.

Aleister Crowley, do I like Baz?

I think I do. Why else would I be thinking about all this?

Although I don't think this is the first time I've thought about this. I've definitely thought about running my hands through his hair and gently caressing his face. About how his eyes are a stormy grey, a little green from the edges and contorting into a soft wet pavement colour as you go towards the center. About how he runs his hand through his hair when he's just come back from practice, and his shirt's sticking to him from the sweat, outlining every curve of his abs. About how he looks cute when he's really focused on something like homework or spells. About how his scent of cedar and bergamot makes wherever I currently am feel like home.

Fuck, I have feelings for Baz.

How did I not figure this out earlier? It explains everything now, how his presence kinda felt comfortable and how I followed him around so much in Fifth Year.

This is bad. I like Baz so now I won't be able to kill him. And he hates me.

Maybe I can get over the fact that I can't kill him. But I have feelings for Baz. According to how much I've been obsessed with him over the years and how much I loved snogging him today, I think these feelings are pretty strong, and if Baz finds out about them, he could use it against me.

Of course Baz doesn't like me, I'm his nemesis. But he was snogging me ruthlessly earlier, and—it might just be my imagination—looked a bit disappointed when we were pulled apart. But it was Seven Minutes In Heaven. It was a game. And I, myself, had suggested that we actually do something other than just cheat and wait around. He doesn't like me, he was just doing what I told him to

This is gonna end up really bad. I have tendency to wear my heart out on my sleeve but I can't let Baz find out about this. But...I'm still hesitant. No one kisses like that just for a game. Maybe I should talk to him. I should talk to Penny first though. What would I tell her? Yeah Penny, so remember the vampire that I've been obsessing over for 8 years and keep trying to get him expelled, yeah turns out I have a humongous crush on him.

Whatever, I'll just talk to her tomorrow at breakfast and ask if I should talk to Baz or not about this. That's gonna be so awkward, dear god.

But I don't have to think about that now. I can just revel in the fact that Baz is a few yards away from me, sleeping. Well, at least I think he's sleeping. I dare to open my eyes a bit, hoping to get a peek at Baz's face, but to my dismay he's turned away from me. Instead, I open my eyes fully and let them roam over his back, taking in every muscle pressing against the fabric of his shirt.

I have broader shoulders than him, but he's taller. Taller by 3 inches, the bastard. I had to purposely stand on my tiptoes when I was arguing with him.

I quietly, as not to let Baz know I'm awake, bring my hand up and lightly caress my lips. I kissed Baz. Merlin and Morgana, I kissed Baz. Wow. And I loved it. And I want to do it again, although I really doubt he would let me.

I let my sleepiness overcome my body and drift off to sleep while thinking of Baz. 


	2. 2

**Baz**

I hardly get any sleep the whole night, just a few hours before dawn because I'm too worked up on the fact that I snogged Simon Snow. Sure, I'll have to avoid him now since I've lost face but still. I can't face him after pouncing on him in the closet and getting carried away enough to let everyone know exactly what was going on in there.

I know it was a one-time thing; a game, but I just can't stop thinking about it and craving it more and more every passing second. Before, I used to think that just a snog or a peck from Snow would be enough for me, and I could live my life peacefully (kind of) afterward, but now I'm nowhere near peaceful. I've been freaking out since last night and couldn't stop pondering over what could've happened if we hadn't been walked in on. Well, I might've devoured him right then and there, and confessed my feelings. If it were anyone else, I'd be worried that they would've worked out that I had feelings for them, but since it's Snow and his thick arse, I'm not too worried. Sure, he will most likely hate me even more now, but Snow's way too dense to figure that out.

The git probably just thinks that I was taking my hormonal-teenage-boy needs out on him, or that that was a part of my plotting. The clueless wanker.

I've still embarrassed myself in front of him though, and now I have to avoid him. I'll probably stop sneering and glaring at him too since that involves making eye contact and I'm not ready for that yet.

Somehow, I end up waking up before the gorgeous bastard today, and sneakily make my way to the wardrobe, grab my uniform and dash to the bathroom to take an even longer shower today, hoping that by the time I step out, he'll be long gone downstairs at breakfast.

As I stand under the pour of the sweltering water, letting it drench my hair and body, I can faintly make out the sound of sheets rumpling outside and then a loud booming sound of Snow thrashing around in the room. I roll my eyes at his indiscreet loudness and continue showering, wondering why in heaven's name do I love this idiot?

**Simon**

I wake up to the sound of the shower turning on, and realize that for once, Baz got up before I did. I let out a breath thankfully so that now I don't have to face him. I think about what I discovered last night.

I'm still not 100% sold on the fact that I like Baz but I'm starting to believe it more and more. I'm still freaking out, I haven't stopped freaking since last night. And now I'm even more freaked out since I had some pretty gay dreams about him last night.

I decide not to think about them right now, just to get dressed and head downstairs to talk to Penny about all this. I hastily put on all my clothes and try my best to be quiet about it, but I know I'm failing miserably. I'm nervous and I'm not the most discreet when I'm nervous.

I don't even wanna brush my teeth right now because I know I'll run into Baz and it'll just be too embarrassing after last night. 

After making a small racket trying to put on my clothes before Baz gets out, I grab my bag and head out to breakfast, struggling to figure out how I'm going to start the conversation with her about this when I realize that my wand is in the bathroom. Merlin.

I was practicing my spells last night before penny dragged me off, and I accidentally left it there. I can't go without it, it's a school day, for crying out loud.

I slap my hand against my forehead and go back in the room and sit down on my bed. Why? Why did I have to leave it there? Now I'm going to have to face Baz.

I hate myself and my stupid bloody decisions.

I guess there's no other way for me to get my wand without encountering Baz, and I can't leave it there, so I sit on my bed and wait for Baz to come out. I keep fidgeting with my fingers, nervous and filled to the brim with anxiety that he'll just look at me and grasp the knowledge that I have feelings for him. I keep going over the conversation I'll have with him in my head, clarifying that I just wanted my wand, and hopefully doing it without stammering.

Baz is taking longer in the shower today than other days. Could he also be trying to avoid me? I wouldn't doubt it, we both were dumbfounded yesterday when we stopped, it was obvious on his face and I knew it must be on mine too. Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure that he is trying to avoid me right now by taking a longer shower than usual. I don't know what'll happen later in class (the ones we have together), will he still avoid me? Are we gonna go back to how we were, always shouting and arguing with each other?

As I puzzle over this, the door to the bathroom opens and I brace myself as Baz comes out.

At first, he looks shocked that I'm still here, but then that countenance flees just as quickly as it came and gets replaced by one of a sneer. I can tell though that he's a bit flustered because it isn't his usual sneer, it seems a bit...shy? And I'm pretty sure I can make out the faintest flowering of rosy pink on his cheeks. Baz is blushing? I didn't know vampires could blush.

He stares at me for a moment and then moves on to tie his tie and grab his bag. I plod to let out the words I had been practicing but they seem to be caught up in my throat. I stop myself and close my mouth before I start sputtering and out myself. Without looking at me, he speaks up.

"Why aren't you at breakfast, Snow? If you're not there then who's going to gobble all the scones?" Surprisingly, Baz's sentence doesn't seem to have as much mock obscured in it than usual. I like it but at the same time, I'm wondering if Baz is just as phased as I am because of last night. Is he softening up? I don't think so but it would be nice if it were true.

I find my voice concealed at the back of my throat and force it out. "W-well, I, umm, left my wand in the bathroom last night before I got to the party, and I never took it back, so..." I trail off, not wanting to finish after successfully bringing up last night, the one thing I was promising myself I wouldn't bring up. I cringe at myself.

"Well, go get it then, Snow. What are you waiting for? I'm not your servant, I won't get it for you." Once again, Baz didn't have enough mockery in his tone, it seemed too...flustered, caught off guard. I sneak a look at him and see that he's not wearing his signature sneer, instead, he has a soft and kind of embarrassed look adorning his face.

I unconsciously smile a little, liking how cute and small Baz looks when he's like this. I now know that he's definitely flustered from last night and even more so when he saw that I was right here after he took that long shower just to avoid me. Crowley, I am really sure that I like Baz now.

I get up and hurry over to the bathroom, grab my wand and make my way out of the room. While walking, I once again sneak a look at Baz and see that he's running his hands through his hair. He hasn't gelled it back today, he's letting it bounce on his head freely, covering a bit of his face since it's a tad long. I like it this way, he looks more natural, rawer this way. Gelling it back seems like he's masking its beauty and openness about himself.

When did I start thinking like this about Baz? 

I would say last night but I'm not sure. I'm pretty sure that I thought that hair thing before but pushed it at the back of my mind so as not to pay attention to it at all.

I leave the room and walk towards the dining hall. As I enter, I see Penny at our usual table and as her gaze wanders over to me, she looks concerned.

Just as I sit down, she starts interrogating me.

"Why are you late? You're literally never late to breakfast unless it's extremely urgent. Now I'm guessing it has something to do with Baz because of what happened last night." She raises a brow at me and nods her head in the direction of the other students.

It's only now I notice the looks people are giving me. Great, just as I expected, everyone knows what happened last night. I ask Penny about what they know exactly and she responds while stuffing her face with orange juice.

"Well, you're lucky it didn't go too far. Half of the students think that you both were aggressively kissing, which I can assure you is correct, " she adds as she gives me a look, "and others think that you both were so engrossed in that, you started groping each other."

I feel my cheeks turn into a brilliant shade of maroon as I look back at the students. Even the First Years are gawking at me, making no subtle attempt to look away once they see that I've caught them staring. I don't want to admit it, but I think that if we hadn't gotten caught last night and hadn't come back to our senses, it might've gone that far. (I'm not sure that I would entirely hate that.)

A shiver glides down my spine from that thought and I distract myself by struggling (the second time this morning) to find the right words to say to Penny.

"Yeah, uh, I actually had left my wand in the bathroom last night, and, um, Baz had gotten up before I did so I had to wait for him to get out of the shower so I could get my wand." Penny nods as I finish.

"Well, I do think that you should talk to Baz about what happened last night. It doesn't seem like the gossip is gonna go away quick."

I gulp and open my mouth, readying myself to say it.

"Penny, I think I l-like Baz," I say in a small voice. I expect for her to gasp and accidentally shout it out to everyone as a sign of her shock but she only looks at me with an expression I can't read. Then, she says, "So you finally figured it out, huh?"

I gape at her. "What do you mean?"

"Come on, Simon. All this time, you can't be saying that the possibility of crushing on Baz never once occurred to you."

I open my mouth only to close it again. Penny is right. The things I used to do, like talking about Baz, all make much more sense now. I didn't expect Penny to give the gay part much thought and I was right. But I definitely didn't think that she would have already known about this crush before me. I gape at her repeatedly.

"I, I guess you're right."

"Good. Alright, so now, fill me in."

Just as I am about to, I hear someone walking in through the doors and turn around to see Baz walking inside. Unlike me, he takes notice of all the stares he's getting and all the whispers about him passing around from table to table.

For the second time today, Baz gets caught off guard and flustered easily. I can tell from how he tries his best to ignore everyone and to just walk over to Dev and Niall that he too knew that word was going to spread fast but either just didn't expect it to be this fast or forgot about it. (If he forgot, that must mean he was thinking about something else. Was he thinking about me?).

As he sits down, we accidentally make eye contact and look away at once, not ready to confront what happened. I look back at Penny and she looks a mixture between delighted and amused.

"What?" I ask her.

"Well, you just had an absolutely bewildered expression directed at Baz and you blushed and looked away at once when you made eye contact. It was cute." She says, face still beaming and trying to hide her smirk.

I sigh, drop my face into my hands and tell her everything I thought last night and today morning without once looking at her for fear that she might see the red rising on my cheeks caused by saying all of those thoughts out loud and tease me more about it. About midway, I see some commotion over at Baz's table and look over to see Dev and Niall laughing quite...teasingly, catching the attention of nearby tables and Baz hiding his face in his hands.

I frown, confused, but ignore them (for now) and continue with what I was telling Penny.

When I finally finish, breakfast is over and everyone's starting to head out to classes. I grab my bag and stand up, both of us walking out and going towards the class.

I dare to look at her and see that she's smiling softly now as if trying to reassure me. And somehow that smile makes me feel a lot better about this crush, only now I'm not sure whether this is just a crush or something bigger cause it seems like I've been having these feelings since a few years back, probably Fifth Year when I started following Baz around everywhere.

I shake these thoughts away from my head and sit down at my desk when I reach my first class of the day. I intend on not thinking about any of this all day and ignoring the whispers, and then maybe talking to Baz about this after classes. Maybe. I'm not going to out myself before I find out whether he feels the same for me or not, and something tells me that it's going to be extra hard to find a good time to talk to Baz about this stuff.

**Baz**

I definitely didn't expect Snow to still be there when I got out, so I was caught off guard and I think he noticed it. I'm pretty sure he did. Because I felt flustered (Crowley, what is Snow doing to me?), I couldn't properly look him in the eye and my sneer wasn't as vicious, and nor were my words.

I thought he was going to start talking about last night and I panicked a bit, but relaxed when he told me about the wand. After he left, I recovered from the sudden burst of softness and headed downstairs. I wasn't going to be caught off guard once again so I readied myself before walking in the dining hall.

I had been thinking about Snow so much that I forgot people might already be aware of what happened. So I got flustered for the second time in one morning. I did my best to ignore them and to keep it cool but the accidental eye contact with Snow whilst sitting down on my table ruined that and I started avoiding their eyes, even my friends who were now trying to keep their smiles in.

I don't risk sneaking glances at Snow but I know that he must be explaining to Bunce that he had nothing to do with the kiss that happened.

I really don't want to deal with everyone right now because I am insanely embarrassed by my wanton doings from last night and how Snow either thought I snogged him like that because I was plotting (the bloody git always thinks I'm plotting) or he actually figured out my feelings for him. I know how much Snow's thick, so he couldn't have figured it all out by now. And if he didn't, Bunce definitely must've. She's bloody well smart enough to have known that I've been in love with Snow all along, but I don't think she did, because she would've told him by now or hexed me.

It doesn't matter now though, Snow is surely planning a way to use my feelings as leverage to himself and is snickering about them. I drop my face into my hands.

I didn't bring any food, just sat down and had a hunch (hoped) that the stares would lessen after a few minutes and everyone would go back to their own stuff, but apparently, I was mistaken because no one is showing any signs of leaving me alone. I catch a glimpse into Snow's life for a moment and even though I like attention, I don't like it when it's because of a stupid Seven Minutes In Heaven story. What are we, Third Years?

I contemplate just getting up and going to my first class early, but that means having to swim through a crowd of curious, amused, bored, smug and shocked eyes that aren't blanketed well and that would just ogle at me even more and frankly, I can't take that. So I just sit there, head in my hands, feeling the eyeballs of the students boring holes into me, as if expecting for me to get intimidated or break and just stand up and shout why Snow and I were practically rolling around last night. Of course, that is until Dev starts conversing with me.

"Aww, Baz, are you that embarrassed about the whole school knowing about you and Snow groping each other last night?" Dev said in a sickly sweet voice and Niall snickered. I plan to disdain them but I something in Dev sentence catches my eye.

"Grope?" I ask, voice filled with uncertainty as if I were expecting a bomb to be dropped on me. As I lift my head, I see that majority of the students, presumably, the ones with an abhorrent hangover, have lost interest in me (not completely though) and there are only Seventh or Eighth Years left who're still gawking, their eyes narrowed in curiosity and suspicion. They're the ones who've tolerated me and Snow bickering and fighting the most over the years, so it's not a surprise that they're the most confused out of all of the students at Watford.

"Yes, Baz. Grope. That's what the rumor going on about you and Snow says." Dev says innocently, but I catch the small of a smirk beginning to craft itself starting at the corners of his mouth.

"We weren't groping each other," I force my mouth into a sneer and eyes into a glare, but it keeps coming out soft. "We were just-" I swallow nervously, both of my best mates enjoying my flustered state, "-snogging. That's nowhere near groping. And why didn't you both stop the rumor? You were there. Bloody hell, the Eighth Years were there. Why the fuck did they not say anything? I bet they didn't even try denying that we were groping. They're just desperate for some new gossip."

"We and the other Eighth Years didn't deny that because, by the looks of it, especially your looks, Baz, it was clear that if you weren't groping then, you'd most certainly be groping a little later into the night, if we hadn't interrupted." Niall retorts, finally revealing his smirk.

My eyes widen a fraction before I put my sneering mask back on again. I'm also pretty sure my neck is coloring, but I'm hoping they won't notice.

"Isn't that adorable? I don't think I've ever seen Baz this flustered before. And his signature sneer is also turning soft. And not to mention he's blushing the most he's ever done." Niall said, making sure to say it loud enough for the tables near ours to hear and the students sitting there to turn there heads towards us and start whispering once more. Niall high-fives Dev and both of them break out in small (but loud) laughs, obviously enjoying this new side of me. Ugh, these wankers.

Unable to come up with a comeback and flustered (yet again), I look down and put my face in my hands again, imagining Dev and Niall getting crushed under my shoe. Those bastards just keep laughing and teasing, so I tune them out and focus on overthinking about Snow.

If I weren't going to ignore him before, I definitely have to ignore him now. These blubbering gits have made sure the others heard their conversation (even the teasing one they're having right now) and the news will definitely travel back to Snow and I'll be even more humiliated. I have to avoid him at all costs.

This is so frustrating because I can't even go back to how I was to him before (not that I think I could, after that kiss) because the glares and sneers are soft now and too many people are interested in this thing between me and Snow to let that slide by. I'll have to ignore him, classes, we have together and avoid him all day long. I'll probably walk the grounds near the Wavering Woods in the afternoon, go to the catacombs at night, and finally return after midnight probably. I'll have to keep this routine up until this Seven Minutes In Heaven gossip dies down, and then I can go back to how I was with Snow before. Oh, sweet Merlin, what have I gotten myself into? Well, at least I'll be able to drain rats in peace, freely every night.

I'm distracted from my thoughts by the class bell. I all but jump out of my seat and gallop towards the door, ready to leave this prison.

I don't dare look back at Snow. I just speed-walk over to my first lesson of the day, preparing myself for the rumors and the gossip and the embarrassment.

 **Simon**

This is even worse than I thought it would be.

Everywhere I go, people are giving me looks and whispering and they're not even bothering to hide it. It's like they want me to hear them and confirm what they're saying. I can hardly concentrate in class with what's going on.

All-day, whether in class or not, people are gossiping about me and Baz. And what's even worse; they're slandering Agatha and Penny.

I'm not that mad at the slanders of Agatha since she kind of deserved them for doing such a horrible thing, but Penny? Penny has never done anything to ruin my life. She has always been supportive and stuck by me during all the terrifying times in my life. She's my best friend and it's sick that people are thinking wrong things about her. I talked to her about this in a free lesson and she said it was okay, that this is just what people do. She said that people always want something to gossip about so bad that they just make stuff up and you just have to accept it and move on. There's no point in going crazy over them because there's nothing we can do to stop them. This is just what people do to other people.

I respect Penny's wisdom, I really do, but it's just so maddening the things people can create out of nowhere. For example, by lunch, people were saying that this morning, Dev and Niall were teasing Baz about kissing me so much that he started blushing and became flustered. Normally, I would've thought that was bullshit (Baz can't blush) but seeing as how flustered he was in the room this morning, there is a chance this was real. But I don't think so.

I don't think so because if he got flustered, that would mean he liked it and that he liked me, and now that it's the end of classes, I'm not sure of anything. Niall the classes we had, the breaks, the free lessons, whenever we bumped into each other accidentally, he never looked at my way once. He didn't sneer or snarl or glare or throw an insult my way. Nothing at all. Maybe this is his plan; to kiss me, make me realize my feelings for him, ignore me, and then drive me crazy so it would be easier to kill me.

Maybe. If it is, then it's definitely working. I can't think straight, the only thought that I've been able to conjure up in my brain in this period of time is I won't kill Baz, I can't kill Baz. Now that I know I have feelings for him, I won't be able to kill him. I just have to try to talk to him now, although I don't even know what I would say. But I have to try.

***

This is proving to be harder than I thought. Once again.

Baz is nowhere to be found. I see him in class sometimes and maybe the hallways and at the dining hall, but that's it. He doesn't look at me at all, doesn't even acknowledge me. He never comes in the room anymore, at least I think he doesn't. If he does, then he's gone before I wake up and comes back in late at night or maybe not at all. I'm pretty sure this is his way of avoiding me.

The rumors have just multiplied. Every time one of us enters a classroom or the dining hall, everyone shuts up for a second and then starts whispering in each other's ears again, looking directly at us. The Penny/Agatha rumors have stopped but that's the only good thing that's come out of this. Even the teachers are getting sick of this.

And it's been a week. A full week.

7 days filled with exasperation directed at these students, agitation because Baz is ignoring me and he's turned into this other person, disturbance in my studies because I can't pay attention class due to all the whispers. And since I don't see Baz anymore, I've lost that sense of familiarity in the room. It hardly smells like him anymore. And I know that sounds weird but I'm desperate.

It feels like torture now. I have to feel the eyes on me everywhere I go. Sure, I used to feel eyes on me before but it was this intense in only First Year when everything was still new and people were still getting used to the fact that the Chosen One (ugh, I really hate this name) was in the school. It gradually got less and less and I got used to it, but I haven't felt those profound gaping in a few years, and them bubbling up all of a sudden once again (and in this type of situation) feels like too much. I had grown accustomed to everyone being friendly, waving while passing me in the hallways, sending greetings flying my way in the morning or at night, and now, unexpectedly, all of that is gone and is replaced by the conspicuous ogling; the deathly glowers of the girls who had something for Baz; the impertinent peers of the teachers, unmistakably speculating why all their students have somehow time-traveled to First Year and are now leering at Simon Snow; and the looks of awe or envy or the knowing giggles people send my way and most likely Baz's way as well.

It all felt too overwhelming. Something I was quite familiar with but still hadn't gotten used to.

At first, I was confounded because this kind of reaction out of the student body caused by a measly snog in a closet—with my arch-nemesis who I have a crush on and was always fighting in the past with, may I add—was something entirely different from the reaction I envisioned in my mind.

Then, it just got a tad demoralizing.

Every time, I walked down the hallway or sat in class or the dining hall to eat and felt the eyes on me and the whispers about me, I felt like they all knew my secret and were judging me for it. It felt like they knew I liked Baz and were silently (well, not really) passing their judgment on it. I know I'm not supposed to like Baz and Merlin, if there was even a tiny chance he liked me back and we were to be an item, I wouldn't care about what others think. It would just be me and Baz. But I'm still a person, I still have insecurities. Them being that I'm the Chosen One, whether I like it or not. I have to destroy the Humdrum, it's my destiny. And I'll do it with Baz on my side, maybe. But what if it's wrong? What if I really shouldn't have feelings for Baz? He is my nemesis, even if he also wants the Humdrum gone too, and I'm his nemesis and we're polar opposites, to say the least. What if I'm abusing my duties as the Chosen One if I'm with Baz, the vampire? What if I let everyone down? And I know. I know that I'm wrong about this. That being with Baz doesn't mean I'm abusing my duties. Even if I am the Chosen One, I'm still a person and I still deserve a normal life and shouldn't worry about disappointing others. I should be with whoever I like, and Baz and I may have our differences but that's what makes him even more alluring and compelling and that's what I like about him the most. Opposites attract. (Of course, that is if he even fancies me, which I doubt.)

But all these false innuendos and murmurs about me and Baz (people are starting to call us Snowbaz, for crying out loud), they're all causing me to believe less and less in my own opinion and I have to get a break from this or I will lose it.

So as a way to get relief, Penny dragged me to another party on Saturday.

I actually wanted to laugh out loud when she said it because the idea was so utterly comical.

I was suffering so bad from a stupid thing that happened at the last party I went to and now she wants to drag me to another one? I love Penny and all but sometimes she acts a little delusional. And this time, I was not going to get dragged into another mess that was impossible to get out of like this one.

But...

Me being the weakling that I am for Penny's puppy dog eyes and her strong, valid arguments and the look that she gives me when she's acting like my parent or big sister that makes me feel kind of whole, agreed and I knew I was falling right into the trap but I still went anyway.

And I have to say, something incredible happened. 

**Baz**

This is a nightmare. My worst and best nightmare.

Everyone's gossiping about me and Snow and quite frankly, I think I'm losing my shit.

It's just getting too hard for me to endure.

I'll be sitting in class or the dining or doing Merlin-knows-what and I'll hear people talking about what's going to happen with me and Snow and for a moment, just a moment, I let myself wonder that he might want something more. That we might morph into something more. But then I'm back to Earth and the sad reality that Snow and I can never happen. He doesn't like me that way and he would hate me even more if he knew that I did.

It feels like a huge pang in the chest and I can practically hear the universe laughing at my pathetic self and my pathetic life and the pathetic hurt that travels over my body in waves when I think about how Snow and I can never be together. And how any chance I had of being his friend or even an acquaintance in school was crushed when he came up to me in First Year and held out his hand and I didn't take it. Well, maybe not at that moment but that definitely started it.

I was just 11 years old. What was I supposed to bloody know about feelings? All I knew was that there was a beautiful boy with beautiful bronze hair and beautiful blue eyes that made me feel all tingly and fluttery inside who was standing in front of me, ready to shake my hand and make me his friend because he was friendly and we were going to be roommates and he had no idea we were supposed to be enemies and if we did become acquaintances or 'friends' then his bloody stubborn and gittish self would have somehow found a way to proceed in life in which we didn't need to kill each other, but I was stupid and young and dumb and didn't know what to do. So I did the thing I thought would work. I made him miserable. I made him angry and sad and annoyed and I even made him cry sometimes in First Year when he wasn't fully that I wasn't going to be his friend but his enemy.

I hate myself for all of that. And I will never forgive myself. And I don't blame him a bit for being incapable of developing feelings toward me.

After feeling all of that; hatred at myself for doing that to Simon who didn't deserve one bloody fucking bit of it; anger at the world for making my life so complicated where I couldn't be with the boy I loved so fucking dearly; morose because whatever I did, nothing could reverse my actions towards him and the universe's decisions to give me this life where I'll never be happy, hearing people continuously whispering about how we probably only acted that we hated each other to hide our feelings and such since we were meant to be enemies and how we should get together and how there was probably a lot of tension between us just made me tumble over the edge.

And that's how I got here. Saturday night, at another goddamn party that isn't going to do me any good, gulping down any kind of drink in my sight in hopes that it would help me rid myself of my feelings for Simon bloody fucking Snow, the Chosen One.

Of course, it doesn't work. But it does make me completely wasted. And that makes me temporarily forget all my problems. And even though I'm going to have a terrible tomorrow, I just can't bring myself to care and stop this. I can barely think properly, or see properly. And I don't trust myself to keep my secrets to myself so I try to stay clear of other people so that my stupid mouth doesn't accidentally say the wrong thing to the wrong person.

I've been at this party for about an hour and am completely wasted, sitting on a bar seat and spewing out nonsense when I see a familiar head of brown locks.

I whip my head around and I think I see Snow there for a second. And...yeah, there he is. Entering with a whining Bunce who's saying something about how he'll enjoy this with a somber look on his face that screamed out "I wanna go home and sulk about something that's on my mind but I can't because my best friend dragged me here and I can't resist them."

Trust me, I know that look and could recognize it very easily.

I watch him as he scans the rooms and his eyes land on me. They widen a bit and I giggle because he just looks so cute with that expression. They widen even more and threaten to burst out of his eye sockets as he catches my giggle.

He ignores Bunce pulling him to the side and jogs on over to me, sitting in the bar seat adjacent to mine. He looks over at me and opens his mouth but no sound comes out and just closes it again.

I grin at him and raise my brow, indicating that I want to hear what he was found to say. He manages to stutter out a few words.

"Uhh, Baz, I-I didn't know uhh that you'd be here," he says. I smile wider, liking that I caught him off guard.

"Well, I didn't expect you either, yet here you are. Looks like we both have just the best friends, don't we?"

He looks even more surprised now, probably wondering why in the bloody hell I'm actually talking to him. Normally, I would've told him to piss off, especially with all these rumors flying about, but since I'm infused with a ton of alcohol at the moment, my brain isn't working very well and the thought of actually talking to Snow and catching him off guard like this is really amusing.

"So Snow, apparently you almost went off today. What was that about?"

He has a look of understanding across his face now, like he knows that I'm wasted and that that's why I'm talking to him. He hesitates for a minute but then rolls his eyes in a way that shows he's thinking something like 'Fuck it all' and just starts ranting.

"Well, I had just gotten back from the Mage's office and he had told me something about how I was letting all this school stuff get to me—" his breath hitches and he looks panicked for a moment, probably because he just admitted that the rumors people were passing around about the possibility of us were affecting him to me, his arch-nemesis and the person who people were 'shipping' him with, but then he remembers that I'm drunk and just keeps on talking because of course, I wouldn't remember this tomorrow, "—and not fighting up to my full potential, which is something he says quite a lot, and that I wasn't focusing on important stuff, just the stupid high school lovesick stuff that 'isn't and will enter be important'. He always just expects me to keep fighting off things the Humdrum sends and not have any social life or do things other than being a 'hero'. He said that 'heroes' like us needn't let our attention stray from what is our duty."

"I wouldn't really call someone who never even shows up at the school whose headmaster he is, a hero. Besides, it's not like he's doing anything good. He's just making you fight off these other creatures the Humdrum sends to terrorize the mages and you, and not doing anything helpful, like actually catching the Humdrum or destroying him. All he ever does is let you kill the small obstacles but is too petrified to actually make a move towards the real problem. He says you both are heroes but actually, he's a coward who wants to be the most powerful and most respected mage ever and he makes you do all that for him when you're the actual hero. You're the one who kills these things and actually tries to get work done and to track the Humdrum. All he ever does is watch from afar and take credit. You're the hero, not him. And frankly, you're letting yourself be manipulated into his game and be used as a pawn. And if you don't do something about it soon, it'll be too late."

At first, he looks like he's actually considering what I'm saying to be true. Like he might agree with me on the Mage.I know Bunce and her family don't like the Mage either, and she's smart so she must've figured this out and told him this before, but he would've most likely shot the possibility down since he's the Mage's pet. But hearing it for the second time from someone else actually got in his head. And now he's thinking about it. But when I started on the part where he's the actual hero, he locked his gaze on me and stared at me with an awed expression and I could easily catch the pink blossoming on his cheek. I guess hearing your enemy admit that you're a hero gives you the motivation you need.

He's carefully avoiding my eyes now. I don't know why. Perhaps he's so humble that he couldn't even gloat and get his confidence boost from my confession. Whatever. Anyways, he looks adorable when he blushes. He starts fidgeting with his fingers and looks down, and is even more tongue-tied than usual.

"I don't know why you're blushing so hard. I'm only speaking the truth." I say, and he flushes even more.

"I just—it seems—I just never expected you to compliment me, out of a-all people."

"Why? Just because I'm the villain in your story doesn't mean that I don't know the truth. And it's not like I'm so bad at processing the truth that I just lose all control. I know how to handle myself. Believe me. And I've dealt with a much more painful truth than that, so there's nothing I can't handle, Snow."

He looks down. It's as if he feels guilty, or if there's a something that's weighing him down on his shoulders. And then, he speaks. Softly, faintly. Just enough so that he could say something out loud but no one else could catch it. But since I have heightened senses because I'm a vampire, I catch it but am not so sure about it. Since I'm drunk, I don't trust my senses but what I hear coming from Snow's mouth sounds an awful lot like, "You're not the villain, but you hate me, so it can't work out."

If that is what he said, then I don't know what he's talking about at all. But it's somewhat comforting to think that he may not consider me the villain of his story, even if he thinks that I hate him. I can't really say I blame him for thinking that. I managed to be the biggest prick ever to him. I would never forgive myself for that.

Before I can wonder more about what he meant or ask him what he said, he changes the subject.

"You ever listened to Troye Sivan? He's a Normal singer but he's actually really good and I thought you might know him."

"Hmm, well I don't really listen to Normals a lot or even pay them any more attention than they deserve. Besides, I'm not a Normal. I'm a mage. I should listen to mage singers and focus on my world. 

"Okay, okay, no need to get all technical or whatever. So what do you listen to?"

I start naming out my favorite artists and he actually listens to a few of them. A lot. We get to talking more and I find out that we actually have more in common than I thought. Sure, we're both really different, but we have the same taste in a lot of stuff. For example, music, movies, types of Magicks, and food.

Pretty soon, we're both getting comfortable with each other's presence. (Well, he is. I was already comfortable). It's at the point where we're both cracking jokes and laughing easily without taking notice of the fact that ever since he arrived at the seat next to me, people have been watching us.

Time passes quickly and I hate it. I was just getting to know Simon Snow, just becoming comfortable with him, acting like I could be friends with him when it's really late and I have to go to sleep otherwise tomorrow will be even more unpleasant. I'm really not conscious of what I'm saying about now. I'm just blurting stuff out and not thinking about the consequences, and that's why I also think that I should be getting back to my room at Watford.

"Oh, I have to go back myself since it's pretty late and you're really drunk so I'll walk you," he says when I mention that I have to be getting home now.

I practically jump out of my seat and run through the house to inform Dev and Niall that I'm going home with Snow. They both collectively raise two eyebrows and plaster smirks on their faces. I don't wait long enough to hear what they're about to say. I just run away to Snow.

And by run away, I mean stagger and try not to fall.

I find him standing at the door with this wondrous look on his face, smiling from one ear to the other. He looks so cute like this. The corners of his eyes are crinkling and there's a tiny sparkle in them. His teeth are on display because of his grin. And his apple cheeks look so soft. He really looks like the epitome of cute and childish.

I almost fall as I'm walking over, too mesmerised by his beauty. But he catches me by the under the shoulders and I suddenly feel like I'm on the moon. Over the moon. Like I'm so high up that I'm circling the galaxy, skipping over stars and swirling around in loops.

At that moment, I wish for time to stop. For life to always be like this. Like how, right now, I'm so easily able to compliment him and watch him blush without freaking out about blowing my cover. Like how he'll give me easy laughs if I tell him a joke, even a stupid one. Like how he's ranting about his life to me, his so-called enemy, and is hardly keeping boundaries. Like how we're pretending that we're friends and that we won't go back to normal tomorrow. Like how infinite I feel right now, able to laugh and joke around with the person I'm in love with after making it seem like I hate him for 7 years.


	3. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am actually quite proud of this chapter <3 also this chap has some suicidal dialogues so just to warn you about that, I’ll add +++ before and after that

**Simon**

This is incredible.

Baz and I have never bonded as much as we did tonight. It's just...Merlin.

We were like best friends and he was so nice too. He kept complimenting me and I kept blushing and then he told me to not blush that much and I blushed even harder. He was even making jokes here and there and listening to me go on about the Mage and my life and responsibilities. He even gave me advice.

Course, his advice was to 'fuck them all' but it's the thought that counts.

I just couldn't stop thinking about how we had wasted all our lives by fighting and giving in to the war others created. Baz and I are still children and everyone is making us their pawns in the war. The Mage is using me and Baz's family is using him. I don't bring it up obviously though. That would be a sensitive subject for him, I suspect.

But I just can't believe what a huge mistake we made giving in to the war and the path others had set out for us. We could've been best friends (maybe even something more if he were gay) (or bi) (or pan) if it hadn't been for the citizens telling us what our roles were and plaguing our mind with the war. Even if they still did, we could've just not have listened to them.

I mean, if on the first day of school in First Year, when I held out my hand to Baz, if he had just taken it, then we would've become friends. And when people told us we couldn't be, we would've already known that being enemies would be a waste of time and we wouldn't have listened to them.

I don't know why Baz didn't take my hand. But if he did, then we'd be something much more different than what we are now.

As we walk back to the Mummer's House, he keeps talking about the most random stuff. Somehow, the conversation winds over to LGBT+ stuff.

"I'm just saying, I think everyone should come out, even straight people. It's only fair. Like, just say, 'Mum, Dad, I've been keeping this in for so long, but I can't anymore. I'm...straight.' And if someone is gay or bi or any other sexuality, it should be okay. The people should accept them and it would be alright. It would certainly make things easier for the LGBT+ community, like me."

I choke on air.

"W-What?" I ask. Did he just say that he was part of the LGBT+ community? Is he not straight? Is he gay? Or bisexual, like me?

"Are you a part of the LGBT+ community?" I ask, more directly.

"Yes. I am. I'm gay." he answers and I gape at him, but he's looking at the ground now (the stairs, to be completely accurate), his previous energy dissipated into thin air.

"I've already come out to my family. My stepmother and siblings don't mind, but...my dad's having problems. He doesn't even address it at all, just lets it hang over us as an invisible-but-actually-visible statement. Like how I'm a vampire."

We've now reached Mummer's House and we're walking up the stairs to our room when he says that and I almost trip.

_He's a vampire?!_

I knew, of course. I always knew. But hearing him confirm it feels bizarre. It's oddly unsettling. He just admitted to being a vampire, knowing that I can get him thrown out of Watford for this. It's either because he trusts me or is too drunk to think about what he's saying.

It's probably the drunk thing but it's nice to pretend he trusts me.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around what he's just blubbering out when we enter our room and he just continues talking about it.

"It's really hard being one, ya know. I get this urge to drink blood so bad that if I don't do it every few nights, it gets unbearable. I don't let myself drain a person though. I would never do that. Just animals and legal game." He flops down on his bed without changing. "It's an abysmal feeling. Being one of those horrible things that killed your mother. And knowing that if she were alive, she'd be disappointed. So, very disappointed. She'd probably kill me herself. She killed herself because she got bitten. There's no way that she would hesitate to kill me."

At this point, I'm just sitting on my bed, listening to Baz sprawled out on his bed. Listening to him talking in a really small voice that breaks occasionally. (That really shows how insecure he feels about this). (It also amazes me that because of just a few drinks, he's letting himself be stripped of his walls, stripping his walls himself, and letting it all go. He's letting himself be so incredibly vulnerable right now).

I am just flabbergasted. I never thought Baz could feel like this. I always thought he was a confident, smart, perfect git. He hid the real him so well that I never suspected that he, too, probably had a lot of insecurities and walls. I think I'd like that Baz back now. The Baz that was a prick. I'm too unused to Baz being open and vulnerable like this (even if it is because of alcohol) to know what to do.

He keeps talking, clearly unaware of the crisis my mind is in right now.

"And Father. He's so strict and old-fashioned. He expects me to be perfect. And that means not being gay. But what am I supposed to do? I know he still loves me but he doesn't really like that I'm gay and he keeps trying to set me up with girls. It's all just so hard."

I finally get my bearings and open my mouth to try and comfort him. But I don't know what to say. What should I say? What can I say that'll make him feel better? I'm his nemesis. (Well, not exactly because of the sudden change of events but something to that effect.) I'm racking my brain for something to say when he starts talking about the last thing I wanna talk about.

"It's even worse that I'm in love with someone. I've been in love with someone since First Year. But I can't date him so it's more painful when my family brings up the idea of dating. Cause then my mind always darts back to him, the beautiful bastard."

My heart drops. Baz already likes someone. Baz already loves someone. And he has since First Year. I have no chance with him. (Not that I had one before.) But what did he say? He can't date him? Why not? I force myself to choke some words out and instantly feel horrible because of taking advantage of Baz in this state. He clearly wouldn't want me to know this. We're not even friends. But I'm desperate and pathetic. So I do ask him.

"What do you mean, you can't date him? Is it...unrequited love?" I ask, wondering which answer will make me feel better, then decide neither. I suddenly feel like I could throw up twice.

"Pretty much. He knows I exist. But we're not friends. At all. We can never be friends because he hates me. I've been a git to him all my life so I can't really blame him. I deserve the pain."

My ears perk up. What?

"What?" I quote my thoughts. Sweet Merlin, what did Baz say?

"I said I was a git to him all my life. It started First Year. He actually came up to me with a hand extended for me to shake and I was just staring at him. We were going to be roommates so I guess he wanted to establish a good bond. But I couldn't, for some reason. I was eleven, I had lost my mum and the Crucible gave me him. I was just admiring his soft bronze curls and his big blue eyes full of wonder despite the shit he went through and the constellations of freckles on his face which I was so sure continued down his whole body and I decided then and there that I would be a dick. I would be a dick to him because I thought that would prevent my feelings for him to expand. But it didn't work. Of course, it didn't work. Nothing I do ever works. +++ I should've just died in the fire instead of my mum. She would've killed me anyway since I'm a vampire. Me dying would've been better for all of us. +++"

I can't breathe.

Baz just told me he loved me. (Indirectly.) Was he seriously thinking that stuff when he was being a git to me? Did he secretly want to actually be my boyfriend and do all those boyfriend things? Is he kidding? No, he can't be kidding. He's full-on drunk. And you know what they say: A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts. But that would mean that he thinks about the other stuff too. About being a vampire. About being gay. +++ About ( _gulp_ ) dying in that fire instead of his mum because he thinks that he deserves it. +++

He doesn't. Even though I didn't really know this about Baz, I do know that he, in no way, deserves to die. Even before, I wanted to get him thrown out of the school but never die. Even _I_ knew that he didn't deserve that. And he's never even bitten a person. He's not a bad person. Baz isn't a monster. He's just a boy who got terribly traumatized by his mother's death and his father's unsupportive actions about him being gay and being in love with someone who doesn't love him back.

Correction: Being in love with someone who _does_ love him back, he just doesn't know it. (Did I just say I _love_ Baz? Oh my God.)

I snap back to reality and look at Baz to find that he's buried his head in his arms and pillow and is silently weeping. I feel my heart shatter into a million pieces as I hear a whimper from him.

My eyes fill up with tears because of the sudden disclosure of overwhelming information I got tonight and I step off my bed and move farther up until I'm right in front Baz's bed. I climb into the sheets and lie right beside him. I pry him off the pillow softly and pull his head to my chest and cradle it.

I wrap my arms around him. One of my hands rests around his head, running gently through his pitch-black hair (no pun intended), and the arm covering his shoulders. The other hand is clutching tightly at his side, arm wrapped firmly around his waist. My chin is resting on his shoulder whilst his head is buried in my shoulder and his hands desperately grasp my shirt, silent crying turning into small, restrained sobs.

I can feel his wet tears on my shoulder as he nuzzles his nose further into the spot where my neck meets my shoulder. I can't help it. I start crying too. I'm not lightly sobbing like him but I can tell its loud enough for him to know that I'm weeping as well.

Somehow , I tighten my clasp around him and whisper in his ear.

"You don't deserve it, Baz. You don't deserve any of the shit life threw at you."

I know he hears me cause he quietens down a bit and starts sniffling. I move to try to change our positions and catch a glimpse of his tear-stained face as I'm lying down on the bed. His bed. As soon as I lie down, I pull him towards me once again and before letting him bury his face in my chest, I wipe the tears off his face and kiss his eyes. We both lie in silence with the occasional sniffle.

When I'm sure he's fallen asleep, I whisper faintly to the darkness surrounding us both.

"I love you too, Baz."

**Baz**

My head hurts like a bitch.

I wake up in my bed and hear the shower going on in the bathroom and assume that Snow is showering. (Which is weird; Snow showers at night, _I_ shower in the mornings).

I sit up and look around. Our room is just as messy as it was when I left it. To go to the party. The party.

Oh shit.

That must explain why my head is aching. I must be suffering from a hangover. A bad one. And I'm still dressed in last night's clothes, even my sneakers are still on. I guess I passed out before I could change. Can't say it's hard to believe, I hardly remember anything from last night.

Last night. I remember Snow. Snow coming up to me and sitting beside me and us talking. I remember complimenting him (oh Merlin) and insulting the Mage and joking with him. I remember him taking me home. Then it gets foggy.

Aleister Crowley, did all that actually happen? I think so, since the memory is fresh in my mind. I try to think about what happened after that. Because if I said something stupid, then I am done for.

I get out of the bed and try to ignore the pounding in my head (and my heart), which is proving to be quite difficult while trying to recall what exactly happened. I see Snow's face, shocked, flabbergasted, and I know I fucked up. I said something I really shouldn't have.

I'm having trouble breathing now. I need to know what I said. Now. But I was completely pissed. I don't remember anything else.

I run a hand through my hair and caress my scalp to try to ease the pain but it's not working. I shut my eyes and try to keep the panic attack in. I can't afford that right now.

And suddenly, I remember.

I remember telling him I'm a vampire. And him almost tripping on the stairs. I remember telling him how my mother would have killed me if she were alive, how I should've died in the fire. And him just sitting on his bed, eyes wide. I remember telling him how my father can't support me being gay and keeps trying to set me up with different women. And him looking at me with tears in his eyes, which I'm pretty sure he didn't even know were there.

I remember telling him about the boy I've loved since I was in First Year. And him looking at me with an unreadable expression.

 _Fuck_. I'm screwed.

I also see a flash of someone hugging me tightly. Pulling me into their arms. Letting me sob into their shoulders. And saying something like "You don't deserve it, Baz." What don't I deserve? Did Snow say that? What did he mean? Surely, that can't be him. He never would've embraced me.

I feel tears profiling in my eyes and I try to hold them back. I can't cry. Not now, when Snow's just a few feet away and can hear me easily. He's probably already heard me pacing around. Fuck, fuck, fuck, I can't believe what I revealed last night. How could I have been so stupid as to get drunk? And where were Dev and Niall?

Just then, I see Snow coming out of the bathroom. He's in the school uniform, hair damp and messy. And he hasn't even worn the uniform properly. He looks like he put clothes on in a rush. He definitely heard me get up.

Seeing Snow standing right there, in front of me, and knowing how I feel suddenly feels like too much and I hate myself for going out in the first place. I should've known something like this would happen. When have I ever been lucky? When has my life ever been all sunshine and rainbows? Never.

He's supporting this look on his face, something between worriment and pity.

It's pity. It has to be pity.

It's all too overwhelming. He's standing there, knowing I remember last night and he's waiting for me react. He's waiting for a reaction so he knows how to pick up the conversation between us.

And suddenly the tears are coming out. I can't hold them back anymore, they're rushing out the speed of a bullet. But I don't make a sound. I stay silent. I see concern bloom on his face and before he can say anything, I turn around and start my way out of the room. I can't stay here anymore. 

I hear him call out, "No. Wait, Baz, " and grip my wrist. And the next thing I know, he’s right in front of me, his mouth a few centimeters away. I can feel his breath on me and somehow that hurts even more.

I struggle against him, trying to break free but he doesn’t let go. I can’t stand this. I can’t stay here and listen to him go on about this. I just confessed my feelings last night, and not just that I love him, I also told him about what went on home, and now that’s made me more vulnerable to him than I’ve ever been to anyone else in my entire life. He has intense leverage over me now. My feelings for him are intensive and passionate and vigorous and they _**hurt**_. Goddamnit, they hurt so much because I love him more than anyone else, and I _just can’t stand here and listen to him let me down and tell me how he doesn’t return them and how he hates me._ I can’t deal with that. Not now, not ever. It makes everything seem too real and gives me a sense of reality, of how he’ll never like me, let alone love me.

And these thoughts force me to cry even more. I force out, “Let go, Snow” but it comes out weak and pathetic. I force myself to look him in the eyes and see that his brows are furrowed in worriment and for a moment, I lose myself in those blue, blue eyes. I let go of everything weighing me down and let the emotions filling me up to show on my face and I weep as his face contorts into one of apprehension and woe and _awe_ as he looks at me breaking my mask of perfect control, letting myself be vulnerable to him _willingly_.

And then his lips are on mine.

The kiss is sweet and soft and slow and reassuring and I can’t help but let out a tiny sob. His tongue caresses mine and his hands are delicately placed on my cheeks, cupping my face as if to protect me. I let my arms sneak around his waist and then go up and run through his hair. I don’t want this to end. Never, ever. He lets out a soft moan and I know I was wrong. I was wrong about him telling me he hates me, and I was wrong about feeling infinite last night. This is infinite. With Simon kissing me like I’m the only thing that matters right now, I feel infinite. _Truly_ infinite. And I just _know_ that he won’t take advantage of me.

We go on like this for Merlin knows how long. I’ve lost track of time. It might be minutes, hours, or even days later when we finally break apart. We’re still practically glued to each other, his forehead resting against my nose. Panting, he looks up at me and says, “I won’t take advantage of you. I won’t hurt you. Never. Your love isn’t unrequited, Baz. Not at all. Your father may not accept and support you fully but it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you accept yourself and love yourself. He’ll come around. Your mother wouldn’t hurt you at all, you’re her son. She would never try to kill you, even if she dislikes vampires. You’re not a vampire, Baz. You’ve never drank a human’s blood, you’re not a murderer, you’re not a vampire. You shouldn’t have died in that fire. You don’t know how thankful I am that you didn’t. You’ve been too deprived of love, Baz. You’ve gone through too much bloody shit, and you deserve none of it. You deserve love. You deserve nothing but love. And I’m here to give it to you. I’m not sure I completely trust you, but I want to. I want to so much. I like you, Baz. A lot. So much that I think I might love you. Scratch that, I know. I know I love you.”

Mid speech, I started to tear up again, and by the end of it, I’m bawling. I’m not holding myself back now from making a sound. And I’m pretty sure the people in the rooms next to us can hear, but I don’t care. All I care about now is that Simon Snow is here for me. Simon Snow loves me. And I love him. I try to tell him this, but I’m crying so hard that it comes out incoherent. He smiles, like he knows what I’m trying to say, and just leads me back to his bed. We both lie down and he lets my cry into his shoulder. 

I get a sudden flashback of lying like this last night, and I know it wasn’t a dream.

**Simon**

We stay like that for hours. Literally. By the time we’re ready to get up, it’s time for lunch.

I could tell that Baz remembered last night. I could tell he was freaking out. I could see the tears. But I didn’t wanna overwhelm him so I stayed put and shut my mouth.

I should’ve figured he’d be overwhelmed anyway. Who wouldn’t be overwhelmed when they found out that the person they’ve been in love with (tingles) for 7 years now knows about it and they have no idea how they’ll react, considering they’re just standing there?

I couldn’t let Baz go so I pulled him to me and he struggled but I didn’t let go. I couldn’t. He told me to but his voice sounded nothing like how he usually is so I could tell he was this close to having a breakdown and was just holding it in because of me.

But then he let go.

He looked me in the eyes and let go. His vulnerability showed on his face and his tears’ pace fastened and he let out sobs. Seeing Baz drop his normal confident and snarky demeanor and then transform into this broken person deprived of love _willingly_ was it for me. I stopped holding myself back and kissed him.

And it was everything. Baz let out cries during it and I could tell how sudden this was for him. Having all his feelings exposed to the one person he wanted to hide them most from. He had hardly had any time to get used to it. I tried to show to him that I wouldn’t take advantage and that I loved him too by kissing him. And at that moment, Baz was the only thing that mattered to me. Not the Mage, not the Humdrum, not Watford, not my uncontrollable magic, Baz.

And I felt _infinite_.

After the kiss, I told him the things he _needed_ to know. I told him the truth. And he cried even harder. He tried to tell me he loves me too, but it just came out cute and incoherent. I led him to the bed and cradled him once again and stayed for as long as it took for him to adjust to what happened.

And now we’re here, in front of the eyes of every Watford student, holding hands tightly and walking over to the table. Our separate tables.

We talked before we came down here and Baz and I agreed that he’ll sit at his usual table today and then Dev and Niall and him will sit with us at dinner. After he’s told them about us. After he’s told them that we’re _boyfriends_. And we’ll sit like this from then on.

We decided that since nothing is kept from the ears of the Watford students, and how the ‘Snowbaz’ gossip is still young and jumping from student to student, we might as well basically declare that we’re dating. By holding hands while walking by the tables.

Every student’s stopped whatever they were doing and is focusing on us now. Even the _teachers_. They’re looking at us with wide eyes and whispering to their friends. I squeeze Baz’s hand reassuringly.

When we’re about to part our ways, I think about how everyone already knows about us. How they can’t do anything to separate us. How most of them actually like that Baz and I might be dating. Then I think, screw it.

And I take him by the back of his neck.

I hear shocked gasps around us and the whispers have increased in volume and amount now. When I pull back, I see the faintest blush on Baz’s cheeks and kiss it, whispering ‘bye’ as I walk away.

As I sit down, I hear his footsteps echo and know he’s reached his table. The whispering continues.

Penny’s looking at me with a smirk and I smile. I already know what she’s gonna ask so I just get right into the story. I tell her about last night, but I don’t specifically tell her what Baz told me, except for the love part. I only tell her that he said personal things. And I tell her that he was only lightly crying today. I meant it when I said that I wouldn’t hurt him, and I know that me telling other people about his breakdown will hurt him.

During the meal, we keep stealing glances at each other and beaming, and I swear a star is created every time Baz laughs.

Yeah, so we were supposed to be enemies and hate each other. We were supposed to loathe and despise each other. We were supposed to fight a battle to the death against each other, him representing the Old Families and me the Mage. But people are forgetting something. We’re just kids. We have no take in politicks. And Baz was right, the Mage is a coward. I’m the one who does the work, not him. And if the Mage has so many problems with the Old Families, why involve me into it? The battle with the Old Families is his, not mine. And I will not fight it for him. And Baz won’t fight it for the Old Families either.

We’re not enemies. We’re just two boys who got manipulated by politicks.

Baz isn’t my enemy and I’m not his. _Our_ enemy is the Humdrum, and Baz and I will fight together to destroy him.

We’re not enemies. We’re just two boys who fell in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this :)  
> follow me on insta, my username is softbookboi :))


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